1.) Less Than Zero
2.) A Better Time
3.) The Phones Aren't Ringing
4.) Forget About You
5.) GO!
6.) The $16,000,000 Shot
7.) Never Have To
8.) Secret Satellite
9.) Got A Job
10.) Shiftless and Lazy
 
 
 
 
 

Less Than Zero
--------------

Now I can only speak for myself
And I better not say too much
But there's gonna be some changes around here
They're gonna kill me if they ever find out

Doctor, please tell me what the phone's doing off the hook
Doctor, please help me because I'm begging...

I'm looking for a number less than zero
That's what I am now
That lady told me her stuff's in my car now
Watch where you're going
I'm starting to see things in a new light
I'm getting close now
I've figured it out...

You know, I've got it all right up here
And I bet you're just dying to know
Why the hands are taken off the clocks
And the chairs are all on their side
It all started one hour ago
When I got this letter in the mail
Except there was no letter inside
And the return address was my own

Mister, please tell me what Daniel's doing on the floor
Sister, please help me because I'm begging...

I'm looking for a number less than zero
I just can't stop now
Set fire to everything that I own now
You gotta help me
I wish I never saw you in that new suit
It made me nervous
I can't seem to stop...

I'm looking for a number less than zero
I'm looking for a number less than zero
I'm looking for a number less than zero
Don't think it exists...
Ne-ga-tive One!
 

A Better Time
-------------

There's never gonna be a chance to
I'm never gonna be the one who
I think about all the things we'd do
I do, oh oh, I do

We could watch TV, we could go for a walk
We could stay at your house, we could stare at the clock
You could accept me for something I'm not
You're hot, oh oh, You're hot

Or we could sit and talk for hours
I'll write you songs and I'll bring you flowers
Cause there's never gonna be a better time, there's not
Oh there's never gonna be a better time

I'm never gonna make you see
Although you always seem to be
Glowing with radioactivity
You'll see, oh oh, you'll see

I want to be the one to say
"I've fallen in love with you today"
It's a shock, I know, but I hope it's okay
Okay, oh oh, okay

We'll take a trip in my car then
We'll have a picnic in the garden
Cause there's never gonna be a better time, there's not
Oh there's never gonna be a better time

I'm never gonna get a chance to
I'm never gonna be the one who
I think about all the things we'd do
I do, oh oh, I do

We could go for a walk to the boats at the dock
We could stay at my house, chill with New Kids on the Block
You could accept me for something I'm not
You're hot, oh oh, You're hot
 
 

The Phones Aren't Ringing
-------------------------

When I was a kid I never did what my parents said
You told me you always did.  I realize I have been misled
Didn't your mother tell you not to break people's hearts?
It's not too late to begin, it's not too late to start

And now the phones, they just aren't ringing for me anymore
I often find myself asleep on the floor
You left me flat on my face
You know you're hard to replace
And I don't want to listen to your stupid metaphors

Last night I went to your house and watched you sleep from the window
I didn't want you to wake up.  I didn't want you to know, oh
Didn't your father tell you how to treat a guy?
To never make him feel upset, to never make him cry

And now the phones, they just aren't ringing for me anymore
I often find myself asleep on the floor
You left me flat on my face
You know you're hard to replace
And I don't want to listen to your stupid metaphors

Can't we just pretend none of this ever happened?
Can't we just pretend none of this ever happened?
Didn't I tell you what you mean to me?
You told me that you loved me.  I realize that I have been deceived

Cause now the phones, they just aren't ringing for me anymore
I often find myself asleep on the floor
You left me flat on my face
You know you're hard to replace
And I don't want to listen to your stupid metaphors
 
 
 
 

Forget About You
----------------

I find it hard to believe that you don't care
Cause I can't stop thinking about all the times we've shared
I've done some thinking, it hasn't changed my mind
Now I'm wondering when you're gonna stop trying to change mine

It's impossible for me to believe
That you don't care for me...

And I can't forget, I can't forget
You know I find it very hard to admit
I can't forget, I can't forget
Everything, everything tiny little bit
I can't forget, I can't forget
Forget about you...

Now I find that you are being modest
To compensate for not being honest
And every feeling that I have has been mandated
So tell me why I shouldn't feel like I'm incarcerated

It's impossible for me to believe
That you don't care for me...

And I can't forget, I can't forget
You know I find it very hard to admit
I can't forget, I can't forget
Everything, everything tiny little bit
I can't forget, I can't forget
Forget about you...

It's impossible for me to believe
That you don't care for me...

And I can't forget, I can't forget
And I don't think I'm ever gonna quit
I can't forget, I can't forget
You know I find it very hard to admit
I can't forget, I can't forget
Everything, everything tiny little bit
I can't forget, I can't forget
Forget about you...
 

GO!
---

Sometimes I feel like Freddie Mercury
And I feel like nothing really matters to me
But I don't see any little man sillhouettes
And I don't come from a poor family

So why do I feel this overwhelming restlessness?

I wanna go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
And never look back
I wanna go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
And never look back, never lookin' back
Well I'll never look back anymore

Sometimes when I'm at home and all alone
You know I start to feel like Macauly Culkin
But I don't slap myself and scream when I shave
And Joe Pesci's not trying to break in

I can't see the use of makin' an excuse

I wanna go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
And never look back
I wanna go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
And never look back, never lookin' back
Well I'll never look back anymore

Sometimes I feel like Mr. Bill Clinton
We both never want to look at another cigar agian...

We wanna go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
And never look back
We wanna go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
And never look back, never lookin' back
Well I'll never look back anymore
 

The Sixteen-Million Dollar Shot
-------------------------------

Bang! Bang!
And the Governor ducks
Well that's the best murder I can get
For Sixteen Million Bucks
I'll watch it all on my TV set
They say they have to regret
That they'll be cancelling shows today
He got away, that's right, he hasn't been caught
But I've got up-to-the-minute coverage of
The Sixteen Million Dollar shot

Abraham, put down your camera
Abraham, put down your camera now, now

Bang! Bang!
And they take him away
Did you catch the expression on his face?
Let me rewind the tape
I can't believe it - Could it really be true?
He was the only one with answers
And now he's been assasinated too
What about you, do you think it's a plot?
Cause now I've got my own ideas
About the Sixteen Million Dollar shot

Jack, put away your pistol
Jack, put away your pistol now, now

One-six-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero
One-six-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero shot, shot
 

Never Have To
-------------

I've got a plan - Domestic invasion from the inside
I'll be the man who opens all of the mail

Gonna show them who's boss
They can't push me around
Send me to bed early
Well I won't take that lying down

And I'll never have to
Share my room with anyone
I'll never have to
Ask permission anymore
I'm always going to
Do the things that weren't allowed before

It's all working out - Everything is falling into place
I'd trade everything I have to capture the look on your face

You thought you were so smart
You've realized your mistake
You are only human
Every truth you know is fake

And I'll never have to
Listen to your boring talks
I'll never have to
Take the dog out for his walks
I'm always going to
Eat my cereal right from the box

And I'll never have to
Share my room with anyone
I'll never have to
Ask permission anymore
I'm always going to
Do the things that weren't allowed before
 

Secret Satellite
----------------

Secret Satellite - Tuck in and say goodnight
Transmit the message to my receiver
Someone once told me I'm the great deceiver
It's a lie...
I'm alright...
Say goodnight...

I'm looking up into the moon
I'm picking out a crater for you
When you decide you love some other guy
I'll have my crater to remember you by

You tell me there's no other guy
But my surveilance cameras don't lie
Over ride the signal to the circuitry of my heart
Until I know that only death can take us apart
And I don't wanna die...
Don't let me die...
Say goodbye...

I'm looking up into the moon
I'm picking out a crater for you
When you decide you love some other guy
I'll have my crater to remember you by

Don't let me die...

I'm looking up into the moon
I'm picking out a crater for you
When you decide you love some other guy
I'll have my crater to remember you by
 

Got A Job
---------

Got a job - Nine to five
I run around keeping people alive
The pay is good but the work is tough
Everything I do is never enough

Got a job - in my neighborhood
The work is tough but the pay is good
The time has come - gonna quit my job
My house got stolen and my car got robbed
 

Shiftless and Lazy
------------------

If I can't be shiftless and lazy
I don't wanna be anything
And if I can't do nothing I don't wanna do nothing at all

I was born for wasting time
So hurry up cause you're making me late
I've got a real hot date to stare at an empty wall

My parents call me worthless
My friends call me crazy
I wanna spend my life being... shiftless and lazy!

They say the best way to meet someone
Is doing the things you like
So I sat around and watched TV but no one came by

My parents call me worthless
My friends call me crazy
I wanna spend my life being... shiftless and lazy!

Sleep all day...
Sleep all day...
Sleep all day...
Sleep all day... I will
Sleep all day...
Sleep all day...
Sleep all day cause I'm... shiftless and lazy!

I know that one of these days
When I'm sitting around and doing nothing
I'm gonna clutch my chest and cough and then I am gonna die

Well that doesn't bother me
No not a bit, no siree
Cause I know that right after that I'll be doing nothing
For a long long time...

My parents call me worthless
My friends call me crazy
I wanna spend my life being... shiftless and lazy!

Oh Oh Oh Oohh!!!